The Alpha S First Choice
"Ray could you bring Dan over" I was on the phone with Ray in the kitchen. I made sure Liam heard every word that I spoke "Feed him and make sure he's asleep when he's here"
'Why would you want him asleep?' "I don't want Dan to talk to him"'And why is he still there' "About that, you are having a guest at your home tonight. Clean up your guest room" I put the phone away from my ear "Stop yelling Ray" I yelled back "It's either your home or mine. Do you want him to sleep in my guest room?" That shut him up.'Fine I'll put bugs in his bed'"You can't do that Ray" I whispered "Did a huge rock hit your head or something? Don't you remember that he is the leader of our pack? He needs to be respected"'Yeah whatever' I could imagine him rolling his eyes "Don't do that. And when you're here, behave. You don't want to be the reason for my death, do you?"I cut the call and went back to sit across Liam."What are you playing at?" he asked"I don't want you to talk to my son right now. We haven't finished talking alpha""Will you stop calling me that? I have a name""I don't want to be on a first name basis with you, Alpha""Are you doing this to get on my nerves? If that's the case then its working""Do I look like some kind of a joke to you?" I questioned back."What do you mean" he was taken aback"Me, my child, our bond, are we a joke to you? Do we come across as so cheap that you take us as your backup?" I could see his jaw clenched; the veins in his neck protruding, all his haughtiness gone, but he didn't utter a word. I waited expecting a reply, denial, acceptance, anything. Nothing, he didn't utter a word."I'm waiting""I'm sorry""You said you wouldn't utter that word again" I gritted my teeth, trying to control myself. I wanted to scream. My anger, I realized was coming in waves. I was angry, scared and frustrated all at the same time. The fear, I was trying my best to hide it but it won't be long before he unmasks it."I don't know" he whispered "I really don't. I'm feeling so....so helpless, so hopeless" He looked up at me. My heart skipped a beat. His eyes were filled with unshed tears "Please" he uttered as a lone tear drop escaped."Please what?" I said, not looking away from his pain "Do you want me to not ask you uncomfortable questions? Do you want me to make it easy for you? Why? Have you ever done anything that I should be grateful for? Do I owe you a favor?"He looked away but I continued "Did you come here unprepared? Did you not expect any resistance? Did you expect your mate to welcome you with open arms? Am I supposed to be thankful that you finally paid us some attention? Do you want me to thank you for coming here for Dan?" I took a deep breath "If so, you are wrong. I wasn't waiting for you. We don't need you here. We are happy without you. Dan doesn't need you either. He already has a father. My child may have your blood in him, but he is Ray's son in every other way. He raised him and has been with him even before Dan was born. Even if we aren't together, even if we never see each other ever again, he would still have as much right on Dan as he has today. He can never be yours. He never was. We..... we were just a one night stand. That's it. I never held you responsible for him. So please for god's sake forget him" I said with finality. He glared at me, his hands fisted; his eyes turning darker by the second. I hoped he had enough sense not to shift here.I on the other hand felt like a blanket of peace covered me. My heart felt lighter, like I've been waiting to get that off my chest forever. Did I want to humiliate him so bad?"I can't do that" I jumped slightly as I was brought out of my reverie. I didn't expect him to speak "I told you I was going to be shameless. Dan, he's like a distant light in my dark forest. He is my hope. I didn't know how dead I was until I heard of his existence. All these years I existed because I could feel your heart beat in my chest but I was never alive; I just sat in a dark corner and waited for your happiness to sip into me because I had no right to be a part of that happiness. With Dan, I want to be selfish. I don't want to sit in that corner and watch him be happy with someone else" he leaned forward and took my hands in his, my entire body jolted as if hit by a bolt of lightening "Please, let me be a part of his life" he begged, all his earlier confidence drained out "I want to feel alive again..... please...""I....I.... can't...." I was saved by the doorbell. I snatched my hands away and rushed to the door, gulping down a huge amount of oxygen on my way."You're here" I sighed in relief as I opened the door. Ray raised a comical brow at that. I shook my head and took a sleeping Dan from his arms."He's asleep" I commented as I turned to walk inside "What did you feed him?""Ummmm..... about that, well, you don't need to know" he replied following me in. "Remind me to kill you later. I'm too tired now" I stopped near Liam, who had a new glow in his face as he ogled at the sleeping bundle in my arms."Sit down" I told him"What?" he looked confused"Sit down" I repeated "You're nervous. I don't want you to drop him." His eyes brightened up immediately and he instantly obeyed me.I put Dan in his waiting arms "Don't wake him up, Alpha"I didn't wait for a reply. I didn't turn to look at his expression. I took Rays hand and pulled him with me to the kitchen."What what what are you doing?" Ray complained"Dinner doesn't make itself, Ray" I opened the refrigerator "So get to work""I don't mean that" he said as we began cooking "why did you leave Dan alone with him?""He won't harm him" Ray glared at my reply "Fine, I didn't want to see whatever is happening out there right now""Why""I don't want to fall weak. I don't want to lose" I said"Why are you whispering?""He has sharp ears""And you'll lose if you see them together?" he went back to the topicI nodded "He told me that Dan is like a distant light in his dark forest. He is a man who has lost everything, Ray. I don't want to see that look on his face now. I'm afraid I'll give him whatever he wants without taking a second breath.""He affects you that much?""Yes, that's how it works. We may have no real relationship, but every time he's hurt, it pierces through me like a knife.""I don't understand" he turned to me "Are we even part of the same world?"I smiled "Why don't you put Dan to bed while I lay the table?"*****"Oh! Where are my manners" I smiled uncomfortably as I sat next to Ray and opposite to Liam at the dining table. They were both giving each other looks. Liam flinched every time Ray touched me and he seems to be doing that a lot today. I glared at Ray "Introductions are due" I clapped my hands in fake enthusiasm "Ray, this is the leader of our....er.... group, like I told you. And, Alpha, this is my um friend Ray""Alpha" Ray mocked as he murmured "What is he? A lion king"I kicked him as hard as I could, under the table. I bent forward and whispered hurriedly "I told you not to disrespect him if you want that neck of yours safe""Ahmm..... Your legs are real strong. What kind of food do you eat? Do you feed Daniel the same thing? I'm impressed" I turned to look at Liam, my eyes widened in fear. I opened my mouth but words didn't make their way out. I kicked Liam? O.m.g. kill me.He raised a brow at me. Wait, was that a smile trying to make its way out? He found me funny."I'm sorry" I said and wend back to stabbing my food."You know the other way to kill your food is to eat it." Ray broke the silence. I glared at him "What? I'm just happy that there is finally another person in this world who knows what it feels like to be at the receiving end of your kick. Do continue""It was a mistake" I replied "You're the only one around me who speaks so senselessly that I feel the urge to kick some senses into your brain via your legs""So Mr. Williams, what do you do?" Liam asked breaking into our argument"Call me Ray. I am a lecturer here at the town college" Ray replied, decently this time.Liam nodded. Was he impressed? What was going on?"And may I know of your profession, Mr. Alpha" goddess, this was so awkward, kill me."Liam, I work at my pa— my town's hospital." Liam replied"My town?...." I knew where Ray was going so I cut him off."You'll be staying with Ray until you decide to leave, Alpha" I said hurriedly "He's our second neighbor to the left so it really isn't much of a distance"They were silently glaring at each other. Good at least they knew that they were in no position to counter my decision.*****"That's the guest room" Ray pointed "Well enjoy your stay. I hope it's not a long one" Ray said turning away to move towards his own room."I hope the bugs you promised aren't there" Liam counteredRay scoffed "What am I? five?" he opened the door to his room "I turned seven last year" he said before shutting the door behind him.Liam too closed his door, he sighed as he looked at the bed. He slowly climbed it, still wary of the seven year old Ray. He smiled at the bright moonlight coming through the large window. It was a long day but he wasn't complaining. It's been years since he had such a day where his heart, body and soul were all where they wanted to be.He met his mate. He met his son. They were safe, healthy and happy. He touched his son. He looked at him to his heart's content, although he would give anything to take his son back into his arms. He didn't know how long it will take for him to get used to looking at Dan like a normal father looks at his son because right now he was so overwhelmed that he looked at Dan like he saw the world for the first time. That little pup was so fascinating, his little nose, his little fingers, his sleep-pout, everything about him made Liam want to never let him out of his arms.And then there was his mate, he always heard that she was unpredictable and hard to deal with but today was the first time he got to experience that. She was never like this around him and that shook him. He couldn't take a stand; he couldn't decide how to behave around her. One moment he thought he was in control and the next she threw him off. She wasn't going to be easy to deal with, not that he expected otherwise. But he couldn't afford to lose to her. He didn't want to go back to that darkness. *****
'Why would you want him asleep?' "I don't want Dan to talk to him"'And why is he still there' "About that, you are having a guest at your home tonight. Clean up your guest room" I put the phone away from my ear "Stop yelling Ray" I yelled back "It's either your home or mine. Do you want him to sleep in my guest room?" That shut him up.'Fine I'll put bugs in his bed'"You can't do that Ray" I whispered "Did a huge rock hit your head or something? Don't you remember that he is the leader of our pack? He needs to be respected"'Yeah whatever' I could imagine him rolling his eyes "Don't do that. And when you're here, behave. You don't want to be the reason for my death, do you?"I cut the call and went back to sit across Liam."What are you playing at?" he asked"I don't want you to talk to my son right now. We haven't finished talking alpha""Will you stop calling me that? I have a name""I don't want to be on a first name basis with you, Alpha""Are you doing this to get on my nerves? If that's the case then its working""Do I look like some kind of a joke to you?" I questioned back."What do you mean" he was taken aback"Me, my child, our bond, are we a joke to you? Do we come across as so cheap that you take us as your backup?" I could see his jaw clenched; the veins in his neck protruding, all his haughtiness gone, but he didn't utter a word. I waited expecting a reply, denial, acceptance, anything. Nothing, he didn't utter a word."I'm waiting""I'm sorry""You said you wouldn't utter that word again" I gritted my teeth, trying to control myself. I wanted to scream. My anger, I realized was coming in waves. I was angry, scared and frustrated all at the same time. The fear, I was trying my best to hide it but it won't be long before he unmasks it."I don't know" he whispered "I really don't. I'm feeling so....so helpless, so hopeless" He looked up at me. My heart skipped a beat. His eyes were filled with unshed tears "Please" he uttered as a lone tear drop escaped."Please what?" I said, not looking away from his pain "Do you want me to not ask you uncomfortable questions? Do you want me to make it easy for you? Why? Have you ever done anything that I should be grateful for? Do I owe you a favor?"He looked away but I continued "Did you come here unprepared? Did you not expect any resistance? Did you expect your mate to welcome you with open arms? Am I supposed to be thankful that you finally paid us some attention? Do you want me to thank you for coming here for Dan?" I took a deep breath "If so, you are wrong. I wasn't waiting for you. We don't need you here. We are happy without you. Dan doesn't need you either. He already has a father. My child may have your blood in him, but he is Ray's son in every other way. He raised him and has been with him even before Dan was born. Even if we aren't together, even if we never see each other ever again, he would still have as much right on Dan as he has today. He can never be yours. He never was. We..... we were just a one night stand. That's it. I never held you responsible for him. So please for god's sake forget him" I said with finality. He glared at me, his hands fisted; his eyes turning darker by the second. I hoped he had enough sense not to shift here.I on the other hand felt like a blanket of peace covered me. My heart felt lighter, like I've been waiting to get that off my chest forever. Did I want to humiliate him so bad?"I can't do that" I jumped slightly as I was brought out of my reverie. I didn't expect him to speak "I told you I was going to be shameless. Dan, he's like a distant light in my dark forest. He is my hope. I didn't know how dead I was until I heard of his existence. All these years I existed because I could feel your heart beat in my chest but I was never alive; I just sat in a dark corner and waited for your happiness to sip into me because I had no right to be a part of that happiness. With Dan, I want to be selfish. I don't want to sit in that corner and watch him be happy with someone else" he leaned forward and took my hands in his, my entire body jolted as if hit by a bolt of lightening "Please, let me be a part of his life" he begged, all his earlier confidence drained out "I want to feel alive again..... please...""I....I.... can't...." I was saved by the doorbell. I snatched my hands away and rushed to the door, gulping down a huge amount of oxygen on my way."You're here" I sighed in relief as I opened the door. Ray raised a comical brow at that. I shook my head and took a sleeping Dan from his arms."He's asleep" I commented as I turned to walk inside "What did you feed him?""Ummmm..... about that, well, you don't need to know" he replied following me in. "Remind me to kill you later. I'm too tired now" I stopped near Liam, who had a new glow in his face as he ogled at the sleeping bundle in my arms."Sit down" I told him"What?" he looked confused"Sit down" I repeated "You're nervous. I don't want you to drop him." His eyes brightened up immediately and he instantly obeyed me.I put Dan in his waiting arms "Don't wake him up, Alpha"I didn't wait for a reply. I didn't turn to look at his expression. I took Rays hand and pulled him with me to the kitchen."What what what are you doing?" Ray complained"Dinner doesn't make itself, Ray" I opened the refrigerator "So get to work""I don't mean that" he said as we began cooking "why did you leave Dan alone with him?""He won't harm him" Ray glared at my reply "Fine, I didn't want to see whatever is happening out there right now""Why""I don't want to fall weak. I don't want to lose" I said"Why are you whispering?""He has sharp ears""And you'll lose if you see them together?" he went back to the topicI nodded "He told me that Dan is like a distant light in his dark forest. He is a man who has lost everything, Ray. I don't want to see that look on his face now. I'm afraid I'll give him whatever he wants without taking a second breath.""He affects you that much?""Yes, that's how it works. We may have no real relationship, but every time he's hurt, it pierces through me like a knife.""I don't understand" he turned to me "Are we even part of the same world?"I smiled "Why don't you put Dan to bed while I lay the table?"*****"Oh! Where are my manners" I smiled uncomfortably as I sat next to Ray and opposite to Liam at the dining table. They were both giving each other looks. Liam flinched every time Ray touched me and he seems to be doing that a lot today. I glared at Ray "Introductions are due" I clapped my hands in fake enthusiasm "Ray, this is the leader of our....er.... group, like I told you. And, Alpha, this is my um friend Ray""Alpha" Ray mocked as he murmured "What is he? A lion king"I kicked him as hard as I could, under the table. I bent forward and whispered hurriedly "I told you not to disrespect him if you want that neck of yours safe""Ahmm..... Your legs are real strong. What kind of food do you eat? Do you feed Daniel the same thing? I'm impressed" I turned to look at Liam, my eyes widened in fear. I opened my mouth but words didn't make their way out. I kicked Liam? O.m.g. kill me.He raised a brow at me. Wait, was that a smile trying to make its way out? He found me funny."I'm sorry" I said and wend back to stabbing my food."You know the other way to kill your food is to eat it." Ray broke the silence. I glared at him "What? I'm just happy that there is finally another person in this world who knows what it feels like to be at the receiving end of your kick. Do continue""It was a mistake" I replied "You're the only one around me who speaks so senselessly that I feel the urge to kick some senses into your brain via your legs""So Mr. Williams, what do you do?" Liam asked breaking into our argument"Call me Ray. I am a lecturer here at the town college" Ray replied, decently this time.Liam nodded. Was he impressed? What was going on?"And may I know of your profession, Mr. Alpha" goddess, this was so awkward, kill me."Liam, I work at my pa— my town's hospital." Liam replied"My town?...." I knew where Ray was going so I cut him off."You'll be staying with Ray until you decide to leave, Alpha" I said hurriedly "He's our second neighbor to the left so it really isn't much of a distance"They were silently glaring at each other. Good at least they knew that they were in no position to counter my decision.*****"That's the guest room" Ray pointed "Well enjoy your stay. I hope it's not a long one" Ray said turning away to move towards his own room."I hope the bugs you promised aren't there" Liam counteredRay scoffed "What am I? five?" he opened the door to his room "I turned seven last year" he said before shutting the door behind him.Liam too closed his door, he sighed as he looked at the bed. He slowly climbed it, still wary of the seven year old Ray. He smiled at the bright moonlight coming through the large window. It was a long day but he wasn't complaining. It's been years since he had such a day where his heart, body and soul were all where they wanted to be.He met his mate. He met his son. They were safe, healthy and happy. He touched his son. He looked at him to his heart's content, although he would give anything to take his son back into his arms. He didn't know how long it will take for him to get used to looking at Dan like a normal father looks at his son because right now he was so overwhelmed that he looked at Dan like he saw the world for the first time. That little pup was so fascinating, his little nose, his little fingers, his sleep-pout, everything about him made Liam want to never let him out of his arms.And then there was his mate, he always heard that she was unpredictable and hard to deal with but today was the first time he got to experience that. She was never like this around him and that shook him. He couldn't take a stand; he couldn't decide how to behave around her. One moment he thought he was in control and the next she threw him off. She wasn't going to be easy to deal with, not that he expected otherwise. But he couldn't afford to lose to her. He didn't want to go back to that darkness. *****
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