She Doesn T Care
What is pain? One thing I have realised is that it is relative. At that point in time I thought I was going through the worst thing in the world. My pain could have been nothing compared to someone else's but should that matter? To me it was eating me up on the inside, I found it hard to breathe. Pain can be felt both physically and mentally. The pain felt when your hand is broken doesn't compare to the pain you feel when your heart is.One can take multiple injuries to both the body and the mind. But there is a breaking point. A point wherein you don't know how you got there and you don't know how to get out. This often leads to frustration. How does one channelise the frustration?By shifting the emotions to another subject or object. To do that one either has to take the hand offered to them or they have to pull themselves out. When they can't do either they give up and induce pain. And then we reach at the same point all over again. The cycle continues until you get better or you get worse. Depression is such a stage that if not removed, destroys a person completely. It requires effort from everyone that person knows and the person himself/herself. If not treated, it threatens to spread to everyone around the victim. It's like quick sand, noone but a strong external force can pull you out. If it consumes you, you are a shell of a person. A hospital is a supposed caring unit which helps get rid of this pain and suffering.
People go to the hospital for various things and at some joyous occasions to celebrate a new life too. The familiar smell surrounded me as I pushed myself more into the seat cuddling my plastered hand into my stomach as much as possible. The pale green walls seemed to have absorbed the sufferings and cries of people over the year and were emitting negativity that made me want to cower. Occasional cries could be heard from where I was seated. I pulled out my phone and dialed in my brothers' number wanting to inform someone of the current happenings. The pervious day, after I had lost my temper and thought it better to break my wrist, I rushed to the hospital without telling anyone at home for obvious reasons. I spent the night at the hospital and hiding from my father who could've visited this hospital. The doctor I got was thankfully new and couldn't connect the dots. My wrist was partially broken and it had to be immediately plastered. Noone must have noticed my absence because I hadn't received a call and it was half past eight in the morning. My back had started aching against the steel chairs and my neck had a cramp. A few nurses had asked me if anyone was coming to take me home but at that moment I didn't know what to say. And after, I didn't know where to go."Hello?" Scott's sleepy voice sounded on the phone as my ears perked hearing a familiar voice after a long night. "Hi, Scott. Don't panic, everything is alright. And no-" "Cut the crap, Del. What happened?" His was alert, from all the rustling I could hear, he was pacing. Well, at least I tried. "Er you see, I'm in the hospital." I squeaked out. "In the hospital?!" He roared back as I pulled the phone away from my ear.
"Yes, I had a little accident. Everything is al-" "Which hospital?" He rushed.
"Stop interrupting me! Which hospital would I be in?" I asked sarcastically.
"The one dad works in. Now, tell me something. Where are our parents?" I questioned. "Both of them are sleeping. Goodness, Delphi. I want to have a talk with you when you get home." He stated, his tone unhappy. I nibbled my lower lip anxiously. I was guilty for what had happened. "Okay, well. I'm coming home. But do not tell our parents about this. Not a word." I hung up and looked around for the nurse. "Hello? Sister?" I called out limping behind a familiar looking nurse. She was kind enough to assist before. "Yes?" "When can I get this cut?" I asked her pointing at the plaster on my hand.
"Well, I'm assuming a day or two would be enough. Come back here day after and we'll see." She offered me a pity filled smile that I hesitantly returned. I had to hide this from mom and dad, I had caused them enough trouble already. So, I made my next call. "Lola?" I asked hearing a lot of disturbance then silence. "Guys! It's Delphi!" Were they ever apart from each other? Though, I guess it makes sense, when I was a child, I lived in the pack house and we were all constantly together. I often hid behind Ethan, he would shelter me from the attention.
"Hi! What's going on?" She questioned enthusiastically. "I feel horrible for asking this of you, really. But I need a place to stay in for a day or two. Could you help me out? I wouldn't be there for long." I massaged my forehead with my uninjured hand, balancing the phone on my shoulder. "Why? I mean, of course I'll help you. But are you in trouble? What happened?" I didn't want to drag her into it, I had already hurt so many people but I knew there was no way she would let it slide. "I'll explain everything when I meet you, which is in about two hours. Okay? Thank you so much, Lola! I owe you." "No biggie. Just be safe." And with that she ended the call. The drive home I started searching for reasons that sounded plausible for my stay in some other place. I had to hide my hand from my dear parents or they would've tucked me in a bubble wrap and made me go to Dr. Hannah again. Perhaps that could've helped. I opened the door and stepped inside.
"Look what we have here." I froze in my steps hearing a voice but quickly recognising it as Scott's, I relaxed. "In my room." I whispered and tip-toed to my room without making any sudden movements. Reaching my room I let him in and then went back to packing a small bag for myself with the necessary things."Stop." Scott demanded but seeing my lack of response to him he held my shoulders effectively stopping my actions. "Just stop, Delphi." The pain in his voice made me look at him as he pushed me to sit on the bed. "I know you're going through a lot, believe me, Delphi. I know. I can't understand but I know. Please, you constantly hurting yourself is affecting us all. Mom-dad are not taking this well. They have already lost a child. Don't make it so hard for them. It has been difficult for all of us after Ethan but you need to understand that Ethan would want you to get better. Not hurt yourself." I shifted under his gaze, my eyes were already watering. "He loved you. And now that he is looking from above he's shaking his head at what you've made of yourself. You've always been the strong one of the family. Ethan taught you that, didn't he? Then why are you doing this? For mom and dad, I'm begging you. I know it's hard, Del, but you have to push through. They aren't getting any younger. Please." Tears were shining in my brothers eyes and this was the first time I had seen him cry since that day I had come back home alone. I stood up and hugged him, letting my tears soak in his shirt. "I'm so sorry, Scott. I've been so caught up on what is happening to me I forgot how it affects you all too. I swear, I'll be better. I'll get better, Scott." I paused, "I am the strong one out of us both after all." I added punching his arm playfully. He gave me a sad smile, one that I knew hid a lot of pain. He had the same smile Ethan did, I knew what it meant and I hated myself for putting it there. "But I'll be gone a few days, Scott. Don't worry about me. Just till the plaster comes off." I said to which he just nodded. "Take care." And he left. His words made me realise what was right in front of me. I had been so selfish. Ethan's death had affected us all and my sudden state of mourning hadn't helped either. My parents were growing old and the pressure from work was increasing too. I was supposed to be the safe daughter they could rely on.I needed to sort myself out for not only my sake but also theirs.And I knew the first step.
No more self harming. All I had to do was wait for the plaster to get removed then I would do better. Try harder. I had work that following afternoon and before that I needed to be out and at Lola's place to see where I could stay for a small amount of time. I was hopeful that everything would lookup eventually. It had to. ********
Sylvester in the next chapter, promise!
This one is too short.. but I'll make the next one extra long.
Vote
Comment
XOXO
Rojesta!
People go to the hospital for various things and at some joyous occasions to celebrate a new life too. The familiar smell surrounded me as I pushed myself more into the seat cuddling my plastered hand into my stomach as much as possible. The pale green walls seemed to have absorbed the sufferings and cries of people over the year and were emitting negativity that made me want to cower. Occasional cries could be heard from where I was seated. I pulled out my phone and dialed in my brothers' number wanting to inform someone of the current happenings. The pervious day, after I had lost my temper and thought it better to break my wrist, I rushed to the hospital without telling anyone at home for obvious reasons. I spent the night at the hospital and hiding from my father who could've visited this hospital. The doctor I got was thankfully new and couldn't connect the dots. My wrist was partially broken and it had to be immediately plastered. Noone must have noticed my absence because I hadn't received a call and it was half past eight in the morning. My back had started aching against the steel chairs and my neck had a cramp. A few nurses had asked me if anyone was coming to take me home but at that moment I didn't know what to say. And after, I didn't know where to go."Hello?" Scott's sleepy voice sounded on the phone as my ears perked hearing a familiar voice after a long night. "Hi, Scott. Don't panic, everything is alright. And no-" "Cut the crap, Del. What happened?" His was alert, from all the rustling I could hear, he was pacing. Well, at least I tried. "Er you see, I'm in the hospital." I squeaked out. "In the hospital?!" He roared back as I pulled the phone away from my ear.
"Yes, I had a little accident. Everything is al-" "Which hospital?" He rushed.
"Stop interrupting me! Which hospital would I be in?" I asked sarcastically.
"The one dad works in. Now, tell me something. Where are our parents?" I questioned. "Both of them are sleeping. Goodness, Delphi. I want to have a talk with you when you get home." He stated, his tone unhappy. I nibbled my lower lip anxiously. I was guilty for what had happened. "Okay, well. I'm coming home. But do not tell our parents about this. Not a word." I hung up and looked around for the nurse. "Hello? Sister?" I called out limping behind a familiar looking nurse. She was kind enough to assist before. "Yes?" "When can I get this cut?" I asked her pointing at the plaster on my hand.
"Well, I'm assuming a day or two would be enough. Come back here day after and we'll see." She offered me a pity filled smile that I hesitantly returned. I had to hide this from mom and dad, I had caused them enough trouble already. So, I made my next call. "Lola?" I asked hearing a lot of disturbance then silence. "Guys! It's Delphi!" Were they ever apart from each other? Though, I guess it makes sense, when I was a child, I lived in the pack house and we were all constantly together. I often hid behind Ethan, he would shelter me from the attention.
"Hi! What's going on?" She questioned enthusiastically. "I feel horrible for asking this of you, really. But I need a place to stay in for a day or two. Could you help me out? I wouldn't be there for long." I massaged my forehead with my uninjured hand, balancing the phone on my shoulder. "Why? I mean, of course I'll help you. But are you in trouble? What happened?" I didn't want to drag her into it, I had already hurt so many people but I knew there was no way she would let it slide. "I'll explain everything when I meet you, which is in about two hours. Okay? Thank you so much, Lola! I owe you." "No biggie. Just be safe." And with that she ended the call. The drive home I started searching for reasons that sounded plausible for my stay in some other place. I had to hide my hand from my dear parents or they would've tucked me in a bubble wrap and made me go to Dr. Hannah again. Perhaps that could've helped. I opened the door and stepped inside.
"Look what we have here." I froze in my steps hearing a voice but quickly recognising it as Scott's, I relaxed. "In my room." I whispered and tip-toed to my room without making any sudden movements. Reaching my room I let him in and then went back to packing a small bag for myself with the necessary things."Stop." Scott demanded but seeing my lack of response to him he held my shoulders effectively stopping my actions. "Just stop, Delphi." The pain in his voice made me look at him as he pushed me to sit on the bed. "I know you're going through a lot, believe me, Delphi. I know. I can't understand but I know. Please, you constantly hurting yourself is affecting us all. Mom-dad are not taking this well. They have already lost a child. Don't make it so hard for them. It has been difficult for all of us after Ethan but you need to understand that Ethan would want you to get better. Not hurt yourself." I shifted under his gaze, my eyes were already watering. "He loved you. And now that he is looking from above he's shaking his head at what you've made of yourself. You've always been the strong one of the family. Ethan taught you that, didn't he? Then why are you doing this? For mom and dad, I'm begging you. I know it's hard, Del, but you have to push through. They aren't getting any younger. Please." Tears were shining in my brothers eyes and this was the first time I had seen him cry since that day I had come back home alone. I stood up and hugged him, letting my tears soak in his shirt. "I'm so sorry, Scott. I've been so caught up on what is happening to me I forgot how it affects you all too. I swear, I'll be better. I'll get better, Scott." I paused, "I am the strong one out of us both after all." I added punching his arm playfully. He gave me a sad smile, one that I knew hid a lot of pain. He had the same smile Ethan did, I knew what it meant and I hated myself for putting it there. "But I'll be gone a few days, Scott. Don't worry about me. Just till the plaster comes off." I said to which he just nodded. "Take care." And he left. His words made me realise what was right in front of me. I had been so selfish. Ethan's death had affected us all and my sudden state of mourning hadn't helped either. My parents were growing old and the pressure from work was increasing too. I was supposed to be the safe daughter they could rely on.I needed to sort myself out for not only my sake but also theirs.And I knew the first step.
No more self harming. All I had to do was wait for the plaster to get removed then I would do better. Try harder. I had work that following afternoon and before that I needed to be out and at Lola's place to see where I could stay for a small amount of time. I was hopeful that everything would lookup eventually. It had to. ********
Sylvester in the next chapter, promise!
This one is too short.. but I'll make the next one extra long.
Vote
Comment
XOXO
Rojesta!
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: ZingTruyen.Info