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"First step towards getting rid of a bad trait is accepting that you have it."

_______

"Rehan I am afraid. Please don't leave me." Rida cried out.

"I am right here Rida. I won't leave you." said Rehan as he held a twelve year old girl while she was trying to learn riding the bicycle.

"I am afraid of falling, please don't leave me." she pleaded with a scary voice.

"Rehan?" she called out and didn't get an answer back.

"Rehan?" she turned around and found none to be her companion.

"I don't know how to stop myself." she whispered to herself as the darkness of horror crept into her soul.

She heard a truck horning and saw coming towards her from the opposite side. She panicked and shouted 'Rehan' but to her dismay, he did not come back.

The closer she came towards the truck, the more her heart constricted. She closed her eyes to no longer feel the trauma of being hit with the truck and the next thing she saw was, the blue sky with a blurred vision. She got up with a sharp pain and dusted her clothes.

"Are you okay?" came a voice.
She looked around to see her cycle on the ground and beside it was Abdullah lying on the ground with a bruised elbow and knee smiling at her.

Rida woke up with beads of sweats on her face over her ringing phone. She wiped them off, made her dispered hair into a bun before attending the call.

"Rida please take care of the kids, I might stay in the hospital during the night." Hana said from the other side.

"Hmm don't worry about the kids, they have slept already."

"And tell ammi too."

"Yeah. How's Ayesha appi now?"

"I don't know. Just pray for her and the baby." said Hana as Hammad brought her a cup of coffee. She bid her salam before ending the call.

"The kids have slept already Alhamdulillah." informed Hana to the father of her children.

"Ahmad was saying that we should go and rest now. He'll keep us informing." said Hammad after handing over the cup to her.

"I don't want to go." said she as she looked up, stopping her brimming eyes. He rubbed his palm against her hand to make her feel comfortable and all she wanted him to be at his side.

The night went along in the miseries of future, while the future lies in the hands of Allah. Tons of Duas were raised up to the heaven and the night went along as if a thousand years.

It was jumu'ah and the men went to perform their obligation while Hana was alone, praying in a vacant room. She came back to see that a nurse stood with a small bundle of happiness in her hand in front of Ayesha's room.

"Congratulations it's a girl." said she and went away after handing the girl into the hands of Hana whereas Hana along with the baby in her hand, bowed her head towards her Lord for thankfulness.

When was the last time we prostrated to our Lord out of thankfulness? He is Ar Rahman and often keeps on sending down his blessings to his slaves, but how often do we prostrate to him out of gratitude? How often do we apply this sunnah? This sunnah is the live proof of our connection with the most gracious.

She looked at her and realised that the little baby resembled Ayesha a lot. She whispered some Duas and blower on her, planted a kiss on her forehead and squeezed the baby to her chest.

"You can now meet the patient." said the nurse and Hana went straightaway to the room.

"Are you fine?" asked Hana as soon as she saw Ayesha.

"I am fine." said Ayesha and Hana smoothly kept the baby beside Ayesha and sat in the stool which was kept at the side of the bed.

"I was so scared Ayesha." said Hana as she held her hand.

"I know, the nurse told me." said Ayesha as she smiled faintly.

"Aahh okay. I am sorry. That wasn't the right time to talk to you about it. I am such an idiot, I was so engrossed in my own pain that I forgot that you were due and especially I should have taken care when I know about the past and I was responsible for it. Alhamdulillah that everything is well or else I couldn't have forgiven myself." blabbered Hana in a breath as Ayesha struggled to sit down on her bed.

"You weren't responsible for anything Hana. Believe me, I was and I am the one to be blamed. After this I've realised that my reaction was what mattered all this while. The last time I was angry, I didn't had patience, it was me who reacted that way and thus kissing my son. But this time I was calm, I wasn't angry, in fact what you said made me realise my mistake and this time we will fight this war together, each for their own sibling. My Abdullah will not be happy without Rida and Rida needs him. And you were right, I am more than happy to know that Abdullah and Rida will be together because I love them both. I somewhere must have lost my track because of my own weakness but guess what? I'm now on the right track." said Ayesha.

"Alhamdulillah you've understood what I tried to convey. I was never against Abdullah's proposal, you know we've dreamt it since we were ourself not grown enough. Anyways let's just leave the past. What about the future?" Hana questioned while Ayesha smirked.

"Rida doesn't even have an option. I was already thinking something." said Ayesha while Hana raised her eyebrow.

"You tell your dad to ask Rida for meeting Abdullah once. Like he's not forcing her to marry him, but just to meet him once won't do any harm." said Ayesha.

"But what if she isn't convinced after it too?" asked Hana.

"Plan B." Ayesha winked and Hana laughed throwing her head backwards and showing her molars. After so many days, she was enjoying Ayesha like she used to do earlier.

Someone knocked at the door and Hana knew it was her time to leave, as the men would already have been dispered from their jumu'ah Salah. She bid her farewell to meet again soon with their respective plans and as she left, Ahmad entered with a grin. He planted a kiss on the forehead of his wife and then on the little one.

"Why are you grinning so much? Huh?" asked Ayesha.

"My three little princess are my Door to Jannah. Isn't is such a great news?" Ahmad said as he sat next to her on the same stool which was previously occupied by Hana.

"And you are my Door to Jannah." she grinned back to him.
Her thoughts took her to the past when Ahmad came back to her after they had a fight.

She sat there with her swelled up face and her arms crossed around her chest turning away from Ahmad.

"Ayesha I am telling you this again, you have starred talking to Hana but you haven't cleansed your heart from the past." said Ahmad coming back to turned face.

"How do you know? Do you reside in my heart?" said Ayesha as she rolled her eyes up.

"Yes. Is there someone else who resides in it?" he said and as she looked at him, he winked and she blushed.

"Come on you are the mother of my two little princess and you are still blushing?" Ahmad said as he interlaced his fingers with her.

"Ahmad I don't want to talk about it." She said politely.

"Just once. And we'll not talk about it any more."

"Okay."

"Okay. Now. See. Umm." Ahmad struggled to find the right words for his last explanation.

"What?" Ayesha said and laughed at him and then added after watching him distressed as he got just one chance to talk about it "Don't worry, may be we can talk sometimes later too. So relax. You just don't have one chance."

"Oh thanks. I was tensed." said he as he wiped off his fake sweat.

"So I have a question. Why don't you want Abdullah to marry Rida even though he wants to marry her?"

"Umm he has already committed to Sidra."

"I know that but he hasn't married her. Right? And marriage is a bigger commitment." asked Ahmad.

"Yeah but still... "

"What if he isn't happy after he gets married to Sidra while he isn't even happy even to get engaged with her. He never wanted to get engaged to anyone. It's you all who wanted him to move on, he was never happy with it."

"Really?"

"Yeah now tell me why don't you want him to get married to Rida?" asked Ahmad.

"I don't Know." she said as she rubbed her face with both her hands in agitation.

"That's grudge. The grudge that you are still holding in your heart." said Ahmad pointing towards her heart while she remained silent, thinking over it.

"Anas ibn Malik reported: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “Coming upon you now is a man from the people of Paradise.” A man from the Ansar came whose beard was disheveled by the water of ablution and he was carrying both of his shoes with his left hand. The next day the Prophet repeated the same words, and the man came in the same condition. The third day the Prophet repeated the same again, and the man came in the same condition. When the Prophet stood up to leave, Abdullah ibn Amr followed the man and he said, “I am in a dispute with my father and I have sworn not to enter my home for three days. May I stay with you?” The man said yes.

Abdullah stayed three nights with the man but he never saw him praying at night. Whenever he went to bed, he would remember Allah and rest until he woke up for morning prayer. Abdullah said that he never heard anything but good words from his mouth. When three nights had passed and he did not see anything special about his actions, Abdullah asked him, “O servant of Allah, I have not been in dispute with my father nor have I cut relations with him. I heard the Prophet say three times that a man from the people of Paradise was coming to us and then you came. I thought I should stay with you to see what you are doing that I should follow, but I did not see you do anything special. Why did the Prophet speak highly of you?” The man said, “I am as you have seen.” When Abdullah was about to leave, the man said, “I am as you have seen, except that I do not find dishonesty in my soul towards the Muslims (empty the heart from any hate, grudge, envy, jealousy, ill feelings and forgive everyone) and I do not envy anyone because of the good that Allah has given them.” Abdullah said, “This is what you have achieved and it is something we have not accomplished.”
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 12286
Source: Sahih (authentic) according to Ibn Kathir

She thought over it but did not reach any conclusion until the same day Hana came to her. That time she was already in pain but she wanted to listen to Hana. Even though it is not possible and easy for anyone of us to reach the level of that man of jannah who was a sahaba, but at least we could strive for it, removing step by step every little grudge from our heart.

Hana's words made her melt and forget what went forth before.

"Believe me, we all were hurt in this process, not just you but we all."

"I know you love her as a sister. I know you would have been so happy to know about Abdullah's decision and you would be happier than the first time."
Were some of Hana's words that made her realise.

Then and there she decided to forget the past, although she had forgiven them but never forgotten. The grudge in the heart is like a termite eating wood, you never know when it eats up all the love from your heart.

"I am so glad that I have you, but I feel like you're stuck with a sinner like me." said Ayesha as she looked at Ahmad with weakness.

"Huh? So you want me to start praising you?" said he and then further said "Ayesha it is so easy for some one to be loved by people who has been gifted with good character, they don't struggle because they're gifted with it. Whereas those people who aren't gifted with it and struggle through out for change makes me love and appreciate them. And you are amongst them who are struggling. You sin, but you repent and that's what makes me love you and how can I not love you when Allah loves such a slave?" said Ahmad and before they could talk further, the little one was enough as a person to disturb them.