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السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Hello dear people!

Because I felt insanely guilty about yesterday's little rant and because I want to write a bit before I go off for study break... Here's a short chapter.

***

#61 Strange Feelings

Lia’s wedding was finally over. The rukhsati was a tearful event, just as it always is at weddings. And as always I found myself thinking, why do girls have to leave? Of course there are perfectly logical answers for that and it’s not like we never visit or call or talk to our families ever again. But there’s something really tragic about that moment where you’re hugging your father for dear life and your mom. Then your father takes your hand and gives it to the husband. From that point on, all of your father’s responsibility towards you is over. It is that finalty I think which makes girls cry during their Nikah and Rukhsati.

And I was right of course. Shikha cried.

Yes, the start of married life is exciting, but it is also completely alien and new and you’re testing a ground that you’ve never walked on before. It’ll be rough sailing especially if like Lia and Di, you’ve never known your spouse before. You’re going to have to figure out this new person and at the same time try and be yourself around them which is so awkward. Oh my... Just thinking of it made me want to hide away and never get married. I’m comfortable in my life as it is.

Talha’s family had sent in Lia’s dress the day before. It was a beautiful pink gown, not over done and yet Lia looked every bit like a queen. And there was no need for much makeup as the twinkles in her eyes as she smiled happily and the rosy blush already made her look so adorable. Najwa and I were wearing gowns too. Hers in burgundy and mine in brown. When Talha’s arrival to the ladies side was announced we quickly donned our abayas over it and adjusted our hijab. Shikha had refused a gown, so she was in a crimson kurta.

Lia had latched on to my hand and she wasn’t letting go. So the three of us were stuck on the stage with her as her Prince Charming came in with ahem Samir, Hamdaan and Abrar Jiju along with another cousin of his. How sneaky of my brother, coming in with the groom to see his fiancé. I turned to look at Najwa and smirked as she caught sight of my dear brother and pushed Shikha to the front and hid behind her. Even Shikha was smiling at her antics. I would have laughed if Lia's grip on my hand wasn’t so tight.

“Lia honey, it’s your husband, stop killing my hand,” I bent down and spoke to her.

Easing her grip a bit she said, “I’m so sorry, it’s just...”

“I know I know, the whole jungle going wild in your stomach,” I grinned and she blushed again.

By then Talha had reached the stage and his mother and Lia's mother had also joined the entourage. As Lia kept blushing and gazed down at the very interesting floral arrangement on the edge of the stage, Talha approached us with a million dollar smile. His eyes were set on his bride. He couldn’t stop looking at her. Well, I don’t blame him, she’s gorgeous after all. He wore a navy blue suit and his tie was a pale pink one, matching his bride. I would have pointed it out to Najwa and teased Lia about it, but Ms Future Bhabhi was busy hiding from her future husband. I had a feeling Shikha's hand was also being squeezed to death.

“Assalamu alaikum,” Talha greeted his wife and I took the opportunity to pry my hand away from Lia's and slowly take a few steps back to give them their first moment as a couple together.

I caught Samir's eye and raised my brows at him in question. He gave me a sheepish smile as he stroked his beard. I gestured for him to lower his gaze as he tried to look at Najwa who was still hiding behind Shikha. He made a sad face. My jaw dropped. Would you look at that? Where is my sensible Samir and who is this imposter?

Little did I know that my non verbal conversation with Samir was being noticed by someone else who was standing on the stage with the others. I wouldn’t have been aware at all, if on turning back to make a comment to Shikha I didn't happen to catch his eyes upon me. And he immediately looked away, probably embarrassed to have been caught in the act. I didn’t know if I was flushing out of anger or mortification or embarrassment. Perhaps it was a combination of all three. However, I was careful thereafter, even if Hamdaan didn’t look at me again.

Lia soon introduced Shikha and Najwa and I to her husband and my dear brother got his chance to see his future wife. Abrar Jiju smacked him on the back of his head for being an idiot. I have no idea how he’s going to wait for two more months. Besabar Samir.

The girls and I got down from the stage after that and after around fifteen more minutes, the groom and his companions left the ladies section. Najwa and I stepped out of our purdah again. We went to check on our families who were seated together. Najwa was meeting Dadi for the first time as Samir's fiancé. I had totally forgotten about Juveriya Aunty until Bhabhi nearly bumped into her on her way out of the hall to collect Ihsan from Bhai. She had entrusted Kanza to me and in her haste -Ihsan was crying- she didn’t see Aunty who was talking to someone else close by.

“I’ve got a surprise for you Dadi,” I said with a big smile.

“What is it beta?” she asked, her eyes gleaming.

“Just give me a minute!” I said and went to Juveriya Aunty.

Throughout the Nikah and the rest of the day we hadn’t seen each other properly. I was with Lia the whole time and she was busy greeting relatives and friends. She was well liked by people around her. I could see that in the way they always left with a smile or embraced her warmly upon seeing her. It gave me a warm feeling inside.

“Excuse me Juveriya Aunty,” I called out as I neared her.

“Juni beta, you look wonderful Barak Allahu Feeki! That gown is lovely” she said giving me a side hug as Kanza was sleeping in my arms.

“Aameen, wa feeki Aunty. I made it myself. Actually, Dadi is here and I told her I’ve got a surprise for her. I’m sure she’d be ecstatic to meet you!” I gushed excitedly.

“Aww! Come come, let’s go then!”

She asked me about Kanza as we walked over to Dadi and I told her about Bhai and Bhabhi and their children. It was so easy to slip into a conversation with her. When we approached Dadi and I nudged her, she had such a bright smile on her face as she recognized her old student.

“Juveriya!”

“Assalamu alaikum was rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu khala!”

“Wa alaikumassalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu! When Juni said surprise, I didn’t even think it would be you she was referring to! How are you beta? How’s your husband and your children?”

Dadi made Aunty sit right beside her and the two were exchanging pleasantries and talking away. Kanza stirred a bit and was disturbed so I couldn’t really focus on all that was being exchanged. It made me very happy to see them together though. Chachi and Sumi Phuppi joined them as they knew Juveriya Aunty as well. Soon Di and Bhabhi and the children were all being introduced to her. Haifa was called over and presented to Dadi.

“Alhamdulilah, I’m really happy I could meet you. Don’t go back to Mumbai without coming over to my home with your children for lunch. In fact, come tomorrow itself!”

“In sha Allah Khala, I was definitely planning to visit before I leave. I had planned on it the moment I had realised that Juni here was your granddaughter. She’s a fine young lady,” Aunty said with a smile and I looked down.

“Barak Allahu Feeha, yes she is.” Dadi affirmed. The pride in her voice made my heart swell.

“She’s also a little crazy and dramatic too,” Iqra Bhabhi interjected with a grin and Najwa and Di laughed as Shikha gave Bhabhi a high five.

“Well what is life without a bit of fun?” Dadi asked and I grinned wide at everyone.

Soon after we had lunch and then Lia was sent away with her husband. Di reassured her that she would be there at Talha’s house. Lucky Lia had the best person for support. We all parted ways. As I waited outside the ladies entrance to the hall with Iqra Bhabhi and the children, Najwa was also there with her family. Bhabhi was talking to Najwa’s mother until Bhai came around with the car. Samir was seated in the front seat with him. He got out so that Bhabhi could take shotgun and he can move into the back with me.

And also, I am certain, because it would afford him the chance to see Najwa again. He greeted her He greeted her mom and talked to her for a bit until Bhai sounded the horn on purpose. There was no rush at all. I could see that as he grinned his crooked grin at Samir, and Bhabhi smacked his arm. As Samir turned to say salaam to Najwa before leaving, and Bhai and Bhabhi were having a moment of their own in the car, I felt a sudden rush of loneliness.

It was inexplicable, I didn’t know where it came from and put a damper on an otherwise happy day that I had. I felt like locking myself away in my room. I walked around and got inside the car, barely managing to say salaam to Najwa properly. I held Kanza close to me and tried to push that ugly feeling away.

The little one looked adorable in the white frilled frock that Bhabhi had dressed her in. She had enclosed my finger in her tiny cute little hand. There was little a white bow which was almost obscured by her mass of soft curls. I brushed a few away that were falling on her forehead. Oh to be a baby like her again, chubby rosy cheeks and long lashes falling on them, sleeping away contentedly! Oblivious to the world around her and all its madness.

“Waise Samir, didn’t think I’d ever see Juni's naughty side come out in you,” Bhai pointed out.

Bhabhi and I laughed as Samir actually blushed.

“I think he’s going to go and beg Bilal uncle to get the Nikah done tomorrow itself! Poor Najwa was forced to hide behind Shikha because this idiot couldn’t keep his feelings in check,” I said and earned myself a hit on my arm which jostled Kanza.

“Hey, my baby is in her arms. Be careful!” Bhai called out.

“Why thank you Bhai, it’s nice to know how much you love me,” I sneered.

“Samir, do you remember how Shoaib used to act every time I came around to Ashiana before we were engaged or married?” Iqra Bhabhi asked with an impish look in her eyes.

“Of course! How can I forget! And he was lucky enough to get to see you from time to time. And now he’s acting like a saint!”

And so their banter went back and forth all the way back to our home. Samir was kind enough to lift my bags from the boot and carry them to my room as I took Kanza to her bed. I was totally deadbeat and couldn’t wait to sleep the rest of the day off. A wedding can be so draining. I really don’t know why we make it so complicated.

There were several highlights to the day of course. My outfit got plenty of compliments and several people asked where I bought it from. Typical in desi weddings of course. When I told people that I designed and made them myself, they were wonder-struck. People wanted to know if I was taking orders and had a boutique or something. It really made me feel happy about my work. I couldn’t wait to present the idea to the family and get started already.

The Sajwa moments were adorable of course. And it made me very happy to think that soon enough we’d be having a wedding here. The preparations for it will start soon and I couldn’t wait to get involved in the planning.

And Lia was happy. Talha was a perfect gentleman to her and he passed Shikha’s scrutiny in flying colours as well. It may have been exhausting at the end of the day, but the happiness was worth it. She’d finally be free from having to explain why she wears abaya or why she won’t interact with her male cousins. She’d have Talha to support her through thick and thin.

I smiled at the thought.

But also felt a bit bitter.

Why though?

***

Ahem.

Would someone care to enlighten Juni? 😂😂😂

Making no promises except that the next chapter will definitely be longer.

Till the next update!

Much love,

f.m.f