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Open your heart too much and it tears you apart
Keep it closed enough and it chokes you to death

Fariya

Life is unpredictable. One moment you think that everything is under control and the next, you are in a deep mess, struggling to stay above the water.

Fariya's life had become achingly erratic over the past few days. It had been two weeks; two weeks since her father died, two weeks since she had started living in Lashari House.

These past two weeks had given her plenty of time to reflect upon life and its strange behaviour. And she was able to conclude only one thing: it kills you when you least expect it, where you least expect it.

Finally deciding to recover from her father's sudden death, she had started talking to the people of the house as she had become awfully silent since she came here.

Although she was always the quiet one, but this time, her silence was different kind of silence. It was the kind which tear you into pieces and yet you can not do anything about it, the kind which screamed pain but the lips were always sealed.

But now, after two weeks had passed and the pain had subsided a little, she had started talking to the residents of Lashari House.

The first person who tackled and crossed the large walls she had surrounded herself with was Urwa. She used to sit with Fariya and tell her about her life and everything. About her studies, her goals, her inspirations, her hobbies.

Without caring that Fariya was even listening to her or not, she would talk endlessly. And Fariya did not have a stone heart, neither she wanted to cry for the rest of her life.

So resultantly, she softened up a bit to Urwa, talking to her occasionally and telling her about her own life and things.

The next person with whom Fariya formed a friendly bond was Saad. He was the most cheerful man she had ever seen, cracking jokes which made her laugh so hard that her stomach hurt.

Fariya liked their company and instantly let down her walls to let them in, a decision she didn't regret for a second.

She was lying down on the bed in her grandmother's room, her head placed in Dado's lap when the door of the room opened and both Urwa and Saad walked in.

Fariya's opened her one eye to see who the intruder was but closed it again on seeing her cousins.

"My eyes are becoming wet. What an emotional scene."

Saad's voice held so much emotions that even Fariya for moment thought that he was serious but only when she opened her eyes again and looked at him did she notice how much dramatic he was.

Dado laughed a bit and stopped her hand which was running in Fariya's hair. Fariya got up from the bed, collected her long, lustrous hair in her palms and turned it three times around the centre. Securing it with a hair band, she made a bun with strands of hair falling carelessly on her face.

"Dado, you never loved me the way you are loving Fari. This is unfair."

Urwa's sad voice made Fariya laugh and reflexively, every eye turned towards her. Hearing her laugh was a sign that she was finally getting out of the shock, her heart healing a little.

Sensing everybody's eye on her, Fariya's laugh suddenly ceased and a shy smile took over her face.

"Well, anyways. We are going out. Fari, get ready."

Fariya looked at Saad and parted her lips to mouth a no but Saad was fast. Before even the words got out of her mouth, he read her expressions and instantly raised his hand, a gesture for her to not say a word.

"There's no room for an argument. You have to come with us."

Fariya gazed up at him with helpless eyes, not wanting to go anywhere right now.

"Saad, I'm not in a mood..."

Urwa's pleading voice cut her in mid-sentence.

"Fariya, please. We want to take you out of this depressing environment. You need to breathe in open air."

As much as she was moved by their caring and loving attitude, she still did not want to leave the house.

"Fariya, my child. You should go. It'll be good for you."

Fariya let out a sigh, a clear indication that she had accepted the request.

"Okay, Dado."

Dado smiled a little at her, a smile so much similar to her father, and then turned her head towards her grandson.

"Who else is going?" Dado questioned.

"Young generation, Dado. Old generation won't be able to handle the cold temperature."

Saad said with a hint of humour in his voice.

Dado laughed while shaking her head.

"As Omer is not here, you have to take care of everyone, okay? One person gets sick and I'll come to your room with my stick."

Dado said seriously but her tone was anything but that.

Saad placed a hand on his heart and bowed down a little.

"Whatever you say, my lady."

Fariya and Urwa let out a laugh they had been holding for quite some time now.

"Okay, go now. In Allah's protection!"

All three of them left the room with a smile on their faces.

"I'll go get ready."

Fariya said as soon as they reached the staircase and rushed upstairs towards her room, hearing a loud voice of Saad behind her.

"Don't take too much time!"

◇◇◇◇◇

All of them were seated around the table in an Ice Cream Parlour. While eating their ice creams, the cousins were engaged in a conversation with each other, cracking jokes and laughing continuously.

Fariya did feel a lot better, the environment and the people around her helping her get out of the misery she was in since the past two weeks.

Saad and Talha were continuously making fun of the girls who were literally shivering in the cold weather but eating the ice cream anyway.

"The real fun is eating ice cream in the winter."

Urwa said while controlling her trembling lips.

Her shaking voice earned a very rich laughter from the three boys while the girls only stared at her.

"I miss Omer."

Syra said out of the blue and smile on Fariya's smile vanished into thin air instantly.

"Yes. We miss him too. I don't understand what was the need to go to Dubai in such a hurry."

Saad mouthed his disappointment and the others agreed except for the hazel-eyed woman who was really glad that he was gone.

Fariya who was talking very cheerfully suddenly went silent,  not knowing what to say and on sensing her quietness, Saad quickly changed the subject.

Five minutes later and all of them were again talking in loud voices, laughing carelessly and enjoying their heart out.

But still, deep down in her heart, Fariya felt that some strings were moved on hearing them mention him and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get away from that feeling.

Women are strange creatures. They want to discard a certain feeling but find themselves in the centre of it. Want to not be affected by any feeling and yet the same thought keep pressing at their hearts until the ideation flows in the heart like a waterfall.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

"Did you enjoy?"

The low voice of Saad made her come back to life and contemplate on what was going on around her. Talha and Syra had already gone and now only five of them were left.

"Huh?"

Fariya was deeply absorbed in her thoughts so she didn't understand what Saad asked her.

"Did you enjoy, Fari?"

He asked a bit louder this time and Fariya nodded her head in approval.

"I  did. It was really fun."

A smile crept upon her face as she plucked the strand of her hair behind her ears.

After a minute, Fariya silently mouthed a thank you which made Saad smile from ear to ear.

"Well, a thank you won't do it. You owe me one."

Fariya raised her eyebrow at his mischievous tone but said nothing.

Saad was now talking to Maida and Hamza and Fariya couldn't help but wonder how different he was from his elder brother.

Saad was almost always laughing while Fariya had never seen his brother laugh. Saad was the cheerful one, Omer was the serious one. But there was still one thing she did not compare between the two brothers.

Care.

Love.

Omer was also an affectionate and a caring man who cherished everyone in the family, taking care of them and loving them with all his heart.

Fariya had seen him take care of Dado and his father after her father passed away, consoling Fariya's mother and siblings, she had seen him talking politely and respectfully to his mother and sister, she had seen it all. 

He was a perfect grandson, a crowing son, an excellent brother.

What he was not was a good husband and that wounded her already broken heart sometimes.

His eyes which showered kindness and gentleness everywhere turned venomous as soon as they landed on the hazel-eyed art. His gaze which held so much softness and tenderness when he looked at his family turned deadly when he took in the sight of the stunning catastrophe.

Though he was gone, it seemed like he had left his glares behind which haunted the already fearful lady to death.

Even though she understood why he was behaving like this with her, why he was at his worst whenever she was around, there was still a disturbing question which kept arousing in her mind:

Did the unfairness happen to him alone? Was he the only one who was forced into a marriage? Was he the only who was suffering? Was he the only one in pain?

◇◇◇◇◇◇

Walking downstairs, she took in the sight of her family sitting in the TV lounge. Smiling slightly, she made her way forward and sat on one of the sofa beside her Taya Abbu.

Taya Abbu who was watching the news on Television rotated his head around to look at his niece and gave her a smile. Fariya returned the smile and looked around to see the people seated in the TV Lounge.

Phoppo's family had come over for dinner so everyone was gathered in the room, even Dado had come out of her room to sit with her children.

The aura around them was pleasant and everyone was busy talking with each other.

Taya Abbu who was was watching the news noticed his niece's silence so turned off the TV and turned around towards Fariya completely and rasied an eyebrow.

"What happened? Where are the girls?"

He asked, his brown eyes on Fariya.

"In the kitchen."

Fariya sadly replied to which she received a low chuckle from her Taya Abbu.

"Taya Abbu?"

A question popped in her head and she called for her Taya Abbu's attention.

"Yes, my child?"

The attention was gladly given to her.

"Umm... I wanted to ask that why was my father's last name Sikandar and your last name is Lashari? You two were brothers. So why the difference?"

Fariya finally voiced the question that had been nagging at her mind since she came here. The change in the last name confused her.

Taya Abbu who was looking at her with loving eyes started to look old and weak on hearing her question. A sadness appeared in his eyes which was clearly readable.

"He changed his name. When Abbu threw him out of the house, he became very angry and changed his last name."

He gulped down the sudden emotion that aroused in his throat and replied dejectedly.

"Is that possible?" Fariya questioned quizzically.

"Yes, it is. It takes some time but you can change it."

Fariya could feel the mournfulness in his tone so she decided to drop the subject.

"What are you two talking about in low and hushed voices?"

Talha asked jovially which made both of them turn their heads in his direction.

"That's our secret."

Fariya too said with equal humour in her voice.

On hearing her, Talha dramatically placed a hand on his heart acting as if he was beyond hurt. Fariya only shook her head and let out a small chuckle.

Maida came back in the lounge and sat next to Hamza on the sofa.

"Go in the kitchen. Urwa is asking for you."

Maida said as soon as she settled on the sofa and her eyes landed on Fariya. The elder sister nodded her head, stood up and gracefully made her way towards the kitchen.

She had just reached the kitchen door and placed a hand on the door knob to rotate it when she heard her name being used in a conversation going on between the two cousins.

Curiosity got the best of her so she stopped in her tracks and began to listen to what they were talking about.

But today was not her day.

Anyday was not her day since her father died but today she felt different kind of pain, a killing pain. The pain which can not be explained yet it is there, it can only be felt, it can only kill.

"Omer got married to Fariya? Are you even in your senses, Urwa?"

Syra's voice held despair, disbelief, incredulity, confusion and what not.

Fariya could not see her but she could still picture her aghast expressions, her wide eyes, her parted lips.

"Yes. I'm surprised that nobody told you."

Urwa's voice was sprawled with puzzlement, her tone laced with bewilderment.

"You're joking, right? Syra questioned, alarmed.

"Why would I? I thought you knew." Urwa answered her quizzically.

"Nobody told me. How... how can... he get married?"

Fariya felt Syra's voice hoarse and her heart collapsed in her chest at the thought that she was crying.

Why would Syra cry? Why would she react this way on hearing about the Nikah? Why? The disturbing thought kept nagging at her mind and finally she was answered by Syra herself.

An answer which took her breath away, pulled the living ground from under her feet, made the sky above her head tremble.

"I.. I love him. Omer. I love him. I can't... can't even.. imagine my life without him. I thought he was.... mine. I didn't... even worry about the thought that... someone else will take him away from me... I love him, Urwa... so much.."

Syra said in between the hiccups. Fariya's heart clenched on hearing her and she rubbed her chest with her palm in order to get rid of the burning sensation.

"Syra.... what are you saying? You never told me..."

Syra's wet voice cut Urwa in mid-sentence.

"What was there to tell, Urwa? Omer's mother once told me that they will make Omer marry someone in the family. By that, I thought she was referring to me. Never in a million years would I have thought that she was talking about Fariya. I mean... Omer had never met her... we didn't know her... to think about her would be absurd.... I didn't.... I thought...."

Syra's voice broke at the end and Fariya heard her let out a loud cry. Placing her hand on the wall beside her, Fariya leaned into it for support.

What was happening? How can everything get so messy and complicated? She felt bad for Syra but terrible for herself.

Not only was she forced to marry a man she had never met before, but worst of all, the man was loved and cherished by her own cousin.

Tears started falling from her doe-like eyes as a dark thought registered in her mind that she had snatched someone's happiness, someone's life, someone's lover.

With that thought acting like a poison and striking her indefensible mind, she felt her already shattered heart break into a million pieces more.

Omer

The cold breeze rotated gently and gracefully around the black clouds and grey sky and lowered itself onto the city of Dubai in one swift motion.

Everyone seemed to embrace the magnificent wind with a smile on their faces, their clothes fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

As the emotions that swirled around the people were joyful, there was a black-eyed man who walked slowly, his face devoid of any smile, as blank as a new born's number of sins.

With a hard face, he continued walking towards his car which was parked in the large garage of the Dubai Marina Mall.

Finally, he got to his car and sat behind on the passenger's seat. Asking his driver to take him back to the hotel, he placed the gifts he had brought for his family aside.

Taking a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and placed his head at the back of the seat tiringly. Opening his eyes to the the sound of the phone ringing, he fished it out of his pocket and turned it in his palm to look at the screen.

His mother.

A smile made its way at the far end of his lips which resulted in the expression on his face to soften up a bit.

"Assalam-u-Alikum, Ammi."

The distressed man said his greetings and heard the same from the other side.

"How are you? How's everyone?" Omer questioned gently.

He slightly nodded his head and ran a hand over his beard as he heard his mother tell him about everyone.

"When are you coming back?"

His mother asked from the other side of the line which made the small, enticing small vanish from his devilishly handsome face.

"Tomorrow night, mother." He said after taking a long breath.

He did not want to go back to his home, he wanted to live on his own for some time but of course, it was not possible. He had a family to go back back to, people who loved him endlessly.

"I miss you, my child."

His mother's low-spirited voice reached him through the line and it was enough to let regret take its place in his heart.

He was avoiding his mother, his family because of a single woman and for the first time in all these days, he felt remorseful.

"I miss you too." The regretful man said in between his thoughts.

"Okay, Omer. Take care of yourself. In Allah's protection!"

Omer heard her mother say her final greetings and he too ended up the call after saying Salam.

"We're here, Sir."

His driver said as he parked the car in front of the Grosvenor House. Looking up from his phone, he looked around and then got out of the car.

Taking all of the shopping bags with him, he started making his way inside the magnificent hotel. Gesturing a porter to come to him, Omer dialed a number on his phone and placed it on his ear.

He handed all the bags to a porter and walked deeper inside the majestic hotel.

"Salam, Bilal. How are you?"

The tall man questioned as he waited for the elevator to open.

"Salam. I'm fine. How are you?"

Bilal questioned him in return and he repeated his usual, monochrome answer.

"You called me?"

Omer said after being done with the greetings as he got inside the elevator.

"Yes. I wanted to talk to you. Are you free?"

Bilal asked, his voice a bit anxious this time.

Omer's brow furrowed as he listened to him.

"Is it something important?"

He asked as he got out of the elevator and began moving through the corridor on the 27th Floor.

"No. I just wanted to discuss something." Bilal said smoothly.

"Should I be worried?"

Omer questioned as he swiped the card through the machine which was proceeded by a sound that indicated that the door has opened.

Taking the bags from the porter, he stepped inside his suite and closed the door behind him.

"No, you shouldn't be. I just wanted to talk to you about your marriage."

A frown appeared on his stunningly graceful face as he stopped dead in his tracks.

"How do you know?" He questioned rather angrily.

"So there really is a marriage."

Bilal's voice reached him and he found himself fuming with anger.

"How do you know, Bilal?"

Omer loudly asked as he threw the shopping bags on the sofa.

"Relax, man. Saad told me in the gym today."

Omer pressed his lips in a thin line as the expressions on his face again went blank.

"Omer?"

Bilal was calling out for him on the other side of the line.

"I'll talk to you when I come back to Pakistan."

Without waiting for a response, he ended the call and threw the phone on the sofa. With a loud sigh, he too collapsed on the sofa and placed his hands behind his head as he sprawled himself comfortably on the couch.

He closed his eyes tiredly and laid like that for a few minutes. It was not much later when his eye lids started to get heavy. And after a minute or two, he and his tiredness fell into a deep slumber together, forgetting about the world and its heartaches for some time.

◇◇◇◇◇

Omer was sitting in the balcony of his suite, taking sips from his hot coffee momentarily. He was staring at the midnight sky which looked so alchemistic and mystical from under here.

The stars were finally awake after a long, deep sleep and the moon seemed to be smiling at the residents of the beautiful planet.

Taking a large sip from his coffee, he let himself get lost in this peaceful and serene moment, allowing the past and its nightmare to attack at his already aflamed mind.

While sitting there peacefully, he couldn't help but think about a certain person, a certain being, a certain woman who made him the person he was today.

Cold and deadly.

Rude and bitter.

Damaged and shattered.

What happened five years ago still had the ability to turn him into dust, into oblivion.

Just a mere mention of her name and his nerves were set on fire, setting everything around him on fire too. He was as cold as ice but her name, her thoughts, her memories were enough to turn him into ash.

Even after she was long gone, she was still present in his every moment.

She was his past which had full power to destroy his future.

Placing his mug on the table beside him, he laid down on the couch and began staring at the sky, his thoughts still roaming around a certain woman.

She was gone now, there were no traces of her in his heart but she still had his mind wrapped around her long, slim fingers.

Even now.

Half a decade had gone by and all Omer Ahmed Lashari could think of was her.

It seemed to Omer that her big, hazel eyes followed him everywhere. They never left him, they pierced through his skin and invaded his heart. They had the ability to seize his mind, freeze his blood.

She had the same affect on him even now, he loathed himself after admitting it.

Omer had lost the count of how many times he had tried to free himself from her thoughts, how many times he had wished to throw her out of his mind.

But everything went in vain.

His efforts did not bear fruit, his hopes did not bloom, his prayers did not get answered.

And like adding fuel to the fire, a lady came crashing in his already turbulent life who reminded Omer of the woman everytime he looked at her.

Fariya's hazel eyes reminded him of her eyes, her long eye lashes were similar to hers. His woman reminded him so much of the other woman that it became achingly painful for him.

It was so unbearable, so agonising that sometimes it became difficult for him to even breathe.

His anger towards Fariya was not directed towards her, instead it was directed towards someone else, someone he was reminded of whenever he looked at Fariya.

He understood Fariya, he knew very clearly that she was forced into this marriage too, she was as much helpless as he was.

At first, he really did think of Fariya as a person who ruined his life but later on, when he pondered on the issue and thought things from her point of view, he felt bad.

Infact, he felt awful for hurting her naive heart like this, for saying all of those terrible things to her.

He wanted to apologise, to explain himself to her but his past got the best of him. His past did not allow him to go to the woman and talk to her. His past acted like a huge wall which stood proudly between the two of them.

And resultantly, he ignored her as much as he could. He left the room whenever she was in it as it was difficult for him to breathe the same air as her. He never looked at her but whenever he did, his eyes always held coldness and darkness.

The tall, dark and handsome man was confused. At one side, he felt terribly sorry for what he was doing to Fariya. But on the other hand, he didn't know what else to do.

He just couldn't go to her and shower his gentleness and kindness to the woman who reminded him so much of the past he dreaded, hated.

The only way to do that was to forget his past and that couldn't happen, it was impossible.

With every time he blinked his eyes, he got reminded of the past he lived. Every time blood was pumped by his heart, he got reminded of the pain he went through.

It wasn't a question of when anymore. It was a question of how.

And for the second time in his life, Omer Ahmed Lashari had no answer.

☆☆☆☆☆

A long chapter is here! So finally you get to know more about Omer. I do hope that you people hate him a little less now and understand him.

Please VOTE and COMMENT to let me know if you liked the chapter! It will mean a lot.

An important note:

I have decided to take part in the Wattys Awards this year. So if you think that my story deserves a chance, please vote and comment and do share it with your friends. Your support will be appreciated! #Wattys2016

Till next time,
Salam!