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27th Jan 2019

"So fear them not, but fear Me, if you are (true) believers."

[Aal 'Imraan 3:175]

Chapter 1: Stand your ground

You have to be enough for yourself.

Dependency is the cause of immeasurable ache, expectations often lead you to the path of self-destruction. There are always going to be hurdles, life will, time and again, take a detour, but that doesn't mean you lose yourself in the process. People you once regarded as your destination may just be bridges, and when a new chapter begins, you must let go of them, for that's the only way to grow.

It's not easy, and no one talks about it, but you have to be the reason for your happiness. Be generous in holding out a helping hand, ease people's worries, but carry out all of this without expecting them to give you anything in return. Don't depend on people, at least not for your happiness.

Everything you do in life, establish it on the intention of pleasing your Rabb. Let every action be directed for His sake, and that way, your expectations too will be from The Only One Who won't let you down.

"It's okay, Kiran, please, stop crying," Rufaida consoled, gently rubbing her friend's back.

"I can't, nothing's going to be okay," she hiccupped, blowing her nose in tissue as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Rufaida stared at her friend breaking down, unable to understand what it was about love that made people put themselves through so much torture. Wasn't life enough to do the job, was it necessary to choose to fall in love and take the torment to another level?

"It's the first day of our final semester, let's not begin it with tears, Kiran," Rufaida sighed. "Five years down the line, we don't know where we'd land up, and this won't even matter. What's important is how we spend this moment; this time in college, we're never going to get it back."

"You don't understand," Kiran stated, scrubbing her face with a napkin while she gathered her hair and tied a band. "This is something that will affect me even after years. My parents found out about Gaurav, and these entire holidays, I was grounded. I was asked to meet some guy on the prospect of marriage, and when I told him I wasn't interested, their rules on me increased ten folds. Today was the first time in these two months they finally returned my cell phone, making me promise that I won't call Gaurav and instead, try to forget him."

Rufaida nodded, lending her a supportive shoulder while she knew the story already. "Your brother also married the person of his choice, right? Why aren't you allowed to exercise that right?" She questioned, perplexed.

"That's because my brother fell in love with someone of my community," Kiran objected. "Now that doesn't happen with everyone, right? You don't decide to love someone after investigating if he follows the same religion as yours and whether or not your star signs match. It just happens, but where do parents understand," she pointed out, enraged.

"Okay, calm down. What did Gaurav say?"

"I spoke to him this morning; the poor guy is troubled because of me. His parents are so supportive, they have accepted me completely, and don't mind marrying their son to me. They are the kindest people I've met, Rufaida, so nice and understanding."

"So, what do you plan on doing, Kiran?" She finally questioned.

At the inquiry, her eyes brimmed with tears and she replied stubbornly, "I'm waiting to get my degree, after that, I'll find a job, be financially independent and run away from home. I just have to dodge their marriage proposals until then. I've known Gaurav from eight years, he's the only guy I'll ever love, they can't expect me to forget him just because it's against their reputation and pride."

"I don't know what's the right thing to say, but what I do know is that, whatever you do, don't hurt your parents, you can't find happiness that way," the girl advised sincerely.

"And they can be at peace by suffocating my dreams?" She asked, her eyes challenging.

"Parents always want the best for you," she justified, softly.

"Don't Rufaida, don't. Gaurav is such an amazing human, he's kind-hearted and caring. So don't tell me that my parents disagreeing for my marriage with him is not for the sake of their pride but instead for my happiness. Because that is plain nonsense," she objected and Rufaida sealed her lips, unsure of what to say.

"Anyway," Rufaida exhaled after a while. "Let's go to class, the lecture is going to start soon."

Nodding, Kiran questioned, "Do you have this semester's time table?"

"Yup, it's put up on the class group," she affirmed, glancing through their schedule on her phone. "The first hour is Human Physiology, and it's in Room 402."

"402," Kiran repeated, shaking her head slowly as her mind tried its best to locate the designated classroom in this vast campus.

Mirroring her expression, Rufaida questioned, "In which block is this classroom located anyway?"

"No idea, we'll ask someone," Kiran suggested and as they gathered their belongings and made their way from the drive to the building, she added, "You know, I find this funny."

"What's funny?"

"We were told that once we join University, our life will get clearer, our goals will be more defined, our prototype to conquer the world will be ready and we'd also probably find the love of our life. Contradictory to those statements, here we are, forget finding goals or love, we don't even know where the classroom is."

Rufaida smiled at her friend's observation, and taking that as a signal to continue talking, Kiran asked, "Rufaida, really, in these twenty years of your life, you've never been in love?"

"Never found it worth my time," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"No boy has caught your attention?" She asked, wondering how nice it would be if she was like her, it'd save her so much heartbreak.

"I've never paid attention to guys," she replied without hesitation, her eyes growing distant. "At every stage in my life, I've only seen men be a source of disappointment. When you associate displeasure to a species, it's wise to distance yourself from it."

"What have men done to you that the entire species is crossed out from your list?"

"Nothing," she replied, an unpleasant tilt to her lips. "Absolutely nothing."

"So what's the problem?"

"That's the problem."

"I don't quite understand," Kiran commented, scrunching her eyebrows.

"Never mind," Rufaida whispered, shaking her head as they made their way to class.

Some theories weren't meant to be understood.

***

"Ahmed, why are you doing this to me," Afreen turned to her twin in the car, entirely furious.

"I don't remember doing anything to you," he replied, his composed demeanor enraging her all the more.

"You know what I exactly mean."

"In that case, you also know what I mean," he answered, playing with her words, and emotions.

"In all these two and a half years at college, you didn't do this. Then why do you insist on dropping and picking me, even if it puts a strain on your schedule in this last semester?" She questioned, absolutely annoyed by these restrictions.

"It's because back in those days, I trusted you," he replied without a moment's hesitation and Afreen felt her eyes go wide.

"You are so rude," she gasped.

"Really?" He challenged, and it was her who looked away.

Afreen detested the day when Ahmed caught her with Zubair, for from then on, her notorious twin had become more like a strict parent. In the past, the two would fight and argue, but they had a sense of understanding between them. While Ahmed usually bossed her around, it wasn't like Afreen paid attention to his orders unless it suited her convenience. But now, she was forced to listen to everything that he said in the fear of having her secret revealed to her mum. She absolutely could not afford that, no matter how much it displeased her to follow Ahmed's commands which she used to otherwise lend a deaf ear to.

"Why did you confront Zubair?" Afreen questioned after a while and had no clue why she felt her brother's intense stare on her.

"I don't what to hear his name on your lips," he warned.

"Ahmed," she snapped, her patience wearing thin, "Stop acting as you rule over my life, okay? You are just one minute elder to me; don't pretend like you're my dad."

"I won't have to pretend if I actually told Abbu about his daughter's whereabouts so he can look out for you," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Stop blackmailing me," she retorted.

"Instead of telling me what not to do, it would be great if you pondered over what you must be doing."

"I am going to tell Mamma everything, so stop torturing me."

"You want to tell Mamma instead of rethinking your decision to marry a guy who made you do so many haraam things?"

Afreen wanted to tell Ahmed that the guy she had chosen for herself, her senior in college, in his final year of pursuing his Master's degree was actually such a wonderful human, but thought against it for a minute ago, Ahmed couldn't even stand his name.

"I'm not going to tell her myself, I've asked him to send me a proposal through a broker," she informed, silently warning her twin to not spoil her plans by revealing her secret.

"You are swimming in dangerous waters," he cautioned.

"You can't reach the treasure by standing at the shore," she reminded, determined and undeterred.

"If you dive before testing the waters and gauging the flow of current, you'll drown," he countered.

Afreen wanted to grace her brother with a smart comeback, but she really couldn't think of anything. She'd probably play this conversation in her head later and come up with some very interesting replies, but for now, she was blank and had to begrudgingly let him take the last word.

Thus, the rest of the ride to college was covered in absolute silence and upon reaching the campus both of them went their separate paths.

When Afreen was sure that Ahmed had proceeded to his block, she fished for her phone from her bag and her eyes lit up upon being notified with a message.

Hey, beautiful! I've missed you! Meet me near DCM Block at 9? – Zubair

She bit her lip, contemplating her reply. Assuring herself that bunking one hour would do no harm and she'd make up for the attendance in the remaining lectures, she hopped to her destination.

"Hey," she smiled, while Zubair raised his eyebrows seeing her.

"Someone looks gorgeous today," he complimented.

"You sure it's just today?" Afreen smirked.

"Nope actually, I look good every day," Zubair corrected.

"I?" Afreen repeated, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Yeah, I was talking about myself, what did you think?" He teased.

"Very funny, Zubair," she grumbled, causing him to smile.

"I'm sorry Ahmed confronted you, that was unnecessary," she apologized after a few seconds, guilty that he had to go through it.

"The dude is fierce, I'll give him that. He was unfazed by the fact that I'm two years his senior, and in turn, tried his best to be intimidating."

"What did he say?"

"Warned me to stay away from you," Zubair shrugged.

"And you didn't do anything?" Afreen questioned.

"I get where he's coming from, Aaf. If I had a sister, I'd also be protective like him."

"Tell me one thing, Zubair, what are you planning on doing?"

"Babe, just give me some time. I've been indirectly telling my mum about you, I'm just waiting for the right moment," he informed.

"You have to hurry up, though," Afreen replied, slightly worried.

"Why? You can't wait to get married to me?" Zubair teased, taking her hand in his.

A rosy blush covered her skin at the gesture and her lips tilting in an affectionate smile she tried to mask with sarcasm, she replied, "In your dreams, Zubair."

***

Rufaida glanced at her watch while striding down the garden path as she made her way to a block that she wasn't very familiar with.

Being a Science student, she hadn't found the need to step foot in the Management Block all these years. However now, since one of the subjects of the semester was Entrepreneurship, a class that was to be conducted with the Commerce students, she found herself in this side of the university grounds that expanded over acres.

"Hey," she approached a girl in a maroon blazer, certain that her dressing indicated she was a student of this block. "Could you please tell me where's Room G-403 located?"

"It's the third class on the fourth floor," she replied and thanking her, Rufaida began her long journey, panting by the time she reached her desired location.

"May I come in, Ma'am," she called, standing by the door as she took in a deep breath.

"Oh, so we have a latecomer to class," she heard the lecturer comment, turning her face to Rufaida while carefully observing her.

"I understand that my class is immediately after lunch, but that does not-"

"Excuse me, Ma'am."

"Another one added to the list," the lecturer remarked impassively, shifting her attention to the guy who had just interrupted her.

She regarded them for a few seconds and questioned, "Whose plan was it to come a few seconds apart so I wouldn't find out you two were spending the precious initial moments of your Entrepreneurship class chitchatting in some abandoned corner?"

"I'm sorry?" Rufaida gaped.

"Excuse me?" The guy in question replied, not sure if he had heard her right.

"Oh please, don't pretend to be very innocent."

"Ma'am, I think you're mistaken," Rufaida started, offended. "I don't know him," she assured, not turning to look at the guy who stood beside her but at an appropriate distance.

"I'm probably seeing her for the first time in my life," the guy justified.

"Everyone says that when they're caught red-handed," the lecturer stated, unconvinced.

"Ma'am," Rufaida pitched in, mortified that the entire class of about 80 students had their heads turned around to them, probably enjoying the show. "I was actually in the prayer room during lunch, and-"

"Yes, my dear," the lecturer nodded, "Everyone remembers God when they are caught for their crime."

Rufaida exhaled, biting her cheek as she looked at the lecturer, annoyed by her assumptions.

"And now," she started, turning to look at the guy, "Are you going to say you just returned from your pilgrimage?"

The guy by the door simply stared at her, exasperated by the conjecture.

"Would you believe me if I said so, Ma'am?" He asked, shooting her a look of annoyance.

"I wouldn't, sweetheart," she smiled. "So how long have you known each other?"

Rufaida raised her hands in question, her eyes inquiring the absurdity of that statement.

"We've known each other for," the guy started, and stunned, Rufaida hurriedly turned to look at him, wondering what had gotten into him now.

"One and a half minutes," he finished with a straight face causing Rushaida's lips to tilt upwards, but even before anyone could acknowledge it, it vanished as fast as it appeared.

Her frown relaxing into a smile, she turned to her students and said, "So, guys, that was your first lesson on Entrepreneurship."

The entire class grinned as the lecturer went on to explain what she meant by this.

"So like this 'couple' here," she started, purposely using air quotes, "Who I swarmed with some unreasonable statements, you too will face similar situations on your entrepreneurial journey. When you have an idea and start working towards it, people will question your motives, spread rumors about you, state facts that are far from true, the ridiculousness of some will even make you laugh. But no matter what people say, you need to know who you are and not budge from it."

Rufaida and her supposed partner stared at the teacher, staggered to discover this lecturer was, after all, putting up an act all this while and using them as dummies to explain her point.

"Anyway," she interjected, breaking the flow of her class and turning towards the door. "What are your names?"

"Ahmed."

"Rufaida."

"So, Ahmed and Rufaida, you can come in for today's lecture and if you don't want to be used as examples, be on time for the next lecture."

Aghast, Rufaida nodded and as she was making her way towards Kiran, she was halted yet again.

"Oh and I forgot to brief you two on rules for my class, if latecomers want attendance, they need to occupy the prestigious first row," she called and tightlipped, both of them made their way to the front chairs.

Rufaida sat in the extreme corner and leaving a chair beside her, Ahmed occupied the next.

While both of them knew the reasons for sitting at such a distance, it nonetheless amused the lecturer, Mrs. Megha.

"We know the both of you aren't dating, didn't have to leave such an obvious gap between the chairs to prove your point," she laughed.

Ahmed shook his head at the jest, resisting the urge to inform her that as Muslims, they were just maintaining a permissible gap and not trying to clear the air that she had ruined with such insinuations.

Perturbed, Rufaida instinctively turned towards Ahmed, but just as their gazes met, both of them hurriedly looked away.

_______________________

A/N: Assalamu alaikum, my beautiful readers! If this is the first book you're reading from my side, then I'd like to welcome you to our family. And to my amazing old readers/ supporters, alhamdulilah I'm glad and exceptionally grateful you decided to join me on another journey of love, life and lessons. In sha Allah, I hope you enjoy the ride <3 

Just to clear any confusion, this is a standalone novel, which means irrespective of whether or not you've read my previous books, you can read this :)